What I'm Looking For in a Relationship

My fingers hurt from swiping on dating apps haha... I wish I was joking but I have spent a good amount of time updating my profile, prompts, and have probably viewed close to 20k profiles and had a fair amount of matches and dates at this point across different dating apps. I've learned more lessons in marketing through this journey than I would have liked but I've also enjoyed the process. I have been able to ground myself in who I am as a man and be thrilled to advertise myself to people who find me and my qualities attractive. Here are (somewhat in order) the things I am looking for in my next relationship (part 1) and the rough checklist of things I will take into consideration if we cross paths (part 2).

Part 1: What I'm Looking for in a Relationship

1. Someone who I think would make a great mother to my future kids

In my mind, someone who takes the time to improve themselves to become a better parent is one of the most attractive things to me. If God-willing I have kids one day or I adopt kids with my wife, I am to be a source of health and guidance for them and I expect the same from my wife. Whether that means playing outside with them and expecting active exercise, making healthy food for everyone, keeping the pantry stocked with healthy food instead of junk food, not allowing brain-rotting TV shows and movies to dictate their brains, and just overall being a strong advocate and good example of what living a healthy life looks like. I expect myself to be in great shape and I also expect you to care about your physical health in the same way. Looks fade and I never want myself, you, or our kids to be in the same

Someone who helps lead them towards God and shares His love through your actions.

2. Someone who actively makes an attempt to build confidence and trust in the relationship

I will likely be the one to set the bar with things if we become exclusive. You will likely know my iPhone password within the first month of dating, be able to look at my social media accounts whenever, see my location on Find My Friends at all times, and get the reassurance that I have deleted the various dating apps from my phone. Some people may view this as an invasion of privacy to expect the same but I consider it the expectation. I've spent way too much of my life sacrificing for the life we have together, to now be worried about where your head or eyes are at. I have made many mistakes in past relationships but each time I've grown stronger and more resilient to what I expect from myself and my woman.

3. Someone who I would want to go travel the world and go on mission trips with

If you were to understand one thing about me above all, it is that I am actively trying to love others unconditionally. I am not Jesus and I am far from perfect. But ever since I have had a relationship with God, I have grown into a much more loving individual. This connection with God in my life has sparked some of the

4. Someone who respects me

This one is pretty straight forward in my mind. Respect me doesn't mean agree with everything I say, but what it does mean is

5. Someone who likes to have fun but doesn't need substances or crutches

So many people unfortunately need

Part 2: Questions I Will Ask Myself

1. Am I physically attracted to you?

Looks are fleeting and physical appearance is often out of our control. I understand how unfair things may seem if you are born with certain physical features that are out of your control that might not be attractive to others. There is a likelihood there are people who are looking for someone exactly like you. I am fully convinced of that. I would challenge you to take on this same challenge that I took on for myself, which is to learn how to market yourself. If you don't like the product you're selling, make a better product. This likely doesn't mean you need to spend thousands of surgeries just to make your chin and nose look a certain way, lips bigger, boobs bigger, etc. Just start with exercise, eating healthy, and taking care of the body you've been blessed with.

2. Could I see you being my wife and the mother of my kids?

Thankfully I never really spent much of my energy into the world of hookups. For a myriad of reasons, I don't think that we will likely connect very well if you've felt that hooking up is a normal thing for you. For myself, I want to invest my time, energy, heart, soul, love, and money into someone who has the capacity, desire, and history of committing themselves.

I understand that everyone has different upbringing, many people have an extensive past, and life slaps you around into the person you are today. God heals and makes people new. I have been able to see the change in people, especially if they are genuinely trying to live a life for God. At this point in my life, I will only be looking for my wife, not some hot fling. There has to be attraction for me and her, but I don't won't turn a. lustful hookup into the start of a relationship. It is such a weak foundation. The strongest foundation I've been able to find is someone who loves God. Just to be grounded in a set of beliefs and understanding of what love really is